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A Guild Wars Soap Opera Part I

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The Curious Case of Ceara Dreamcatcher


What Me and My Multiple Personalities Did One Summer

This is a tale that I knew I would have to retell at some point. That being said, a part of me has always dreaded this moment because in retrospect the entire story seems so silly and exaggerated -- exactly like a soap opera -- except that all of these events really did occur. Because this story is so melodramatic I have decided to not treat it seriously and instead accentuate the silliness of it all by writing it out in the format of a screenplay. While I have fictionalized parts of this story, the essence of all that happened here is true. A few names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent). So, without further adieu -- I present to you a tale of love, deceit, treachery, and maybe even a few crumpets.

The Setting: The humble realm of Guild Wars in the era surrounding the release of Factions. Three noble guilds, all recognized by the lords of Arenanet for their achievements: The Everlasting Sacred Path, the Dark Angels of Rising Chaos, and The Forgotten Knights, have come together to form an epic alliance.

The Cast:

The Narator -- A mysterious Asuran named Riff who fancies himself to be a poet yet, like most of his people, has an acute distaste for the simple-minded affairs of bookahs and their wonky emotions.

Val --
The charismatic, if somewhat haughty Knight Commander and leader of the Forgotten Knights

Nina -- The Empress of the Dark Angels of Rising Chaos -- much revered for her sweet nature, yet also known to swiftly mete out justice.

Karuna -- Playing as himself.

Ceara -- Sweet, innocent, and gentle as a water lily floating in a still pond -- Ceara joins the Forgotten Knights shortly after the marriage between Val and Nina

Carrigan -- A knight of impressive morals and stature similar to the tale of Sir Gallahad. He quickly makes a name for himself and rises up in the ranks of FK.

Astalith -- The fiery leader of a new order of knights: The Holy Champions. She is self-assertive and openly flirtatious and rules with a firm hand.

Sir J -- The most visible and admired officer of ESP who attempts to keep everything painted in a positive light.


Scene I
Upon a grassy knoll, on a bright, sunny day; the setting for the wedding between Val of [FK] and Nina of [DaRc]

Riff The Narrator: "Ahem. Here we see bookahs -- very quaint it seems. I can see them quite clearly but they can not see me. A marriage: is it for love, or for honor, or just for show? That is for you small-brains to find out and for me to know." |-claps to himself and rocks back and forth like a jester-|

FK Priest: "I am honored to bear witness to this momentous occasion: the bond of holy matrimony between the High Emperor Lord and Knight Commander Val, and the Empress Nina. If any here would now like to speak before we complete the ceremony please speak now or else forever hold your peace."

Random Heckler #1: "Boooooo!"

Random Heckler #2: "This is a farce! Val is a despot!"

Random Heckler #3: "Nina, don't do it!"

Val: "Come my love, let us repair to our new castle and sanctify our marriage there among the company of our trusted friends. I do not want these griefers to sully this special moment for us."

Nina: "Yes my love, of course. As you wish."

Val: "Attention all Knights and loyal friends! I invite you all to join us within the gates of our castle. We shall reconvene in the courtyard there and these petty aggressors who would attempt to throw mud while we are attempting to celebrate a truly great occasion will not be able to follow. We shall hear from them no more."

Random Heckler #1: "That's what you think!"

One by one, those who are on the guest list for the wedding leave the glade and enter the white-towered citadel of the Forgotten Knights

Sir J: "Karuna! You made it!"

Karuna: "Yes. I was afraid that I had missed the entire thing. I arrived on the scene and found what looked more like a small protest rally. What happened?"

Sir J: "Just some loud people who seemingly wanted to ruin Cal and Nina's day, so we came here within the walls instead to have some peace and quiet. Look, they are about to tie the knot!"

FK Priest: "I know pronounce you man and wife, Emperor and Empress."

|-loud cheers ensue from the crowd gathered within the courtyard. A flock of white doves are released into the air and fireworks explode in the air-|

Sir J: "Dear me, wouldn't it be bad if one of those doves were to get hit by the fireworks!"

Karuna: "Indeed. Bad for the poor bird and not the best omen on which to begin your marriage."

Sir J: "Yes, exactly! Look, they are offering punch and cake now. I say we go join in."

Karuna: "Did you sneak in that bottle of vodka like we had planned?"

Sir J: |-revealing a glimpse of a concealed bottle-| "Seriously, you thought I would forget?"

Karuna: "Well done my friend, well done. Lets go."

|-the pair walks off together to refresh themselves. As they exit the scene, neither of them notice the plume of exploded dove feathers that fall slowly fall to the ground behind them-|

Scene II
Within the inner council chambers of the [FK] Castle

Riff The Superior: "I changed my name to 'superior' just because I can. Being the omnicient narrator allows me to choose how to play my hand. Plus, right now it is sort of dull, these Bookahs seem rather meager. They all want an alliance, but no one wants to be the leader."

Val: "Goth girls. No one can refuse a goth girl! What do those other girls have . . erm . . turtle shells covering their boobs or something? Well, actually, that is kind of hot too, but still, we should join allegiance with the Kurzicks I say."

Nina: "Yes, my love, but how will we . . ."

Val: "And then we will own our own town and there will be goth girls everywhere . . . that we own"

Karuna: "That raises an interesting question though. According to my sources when an alliance owns a town they will only display the cape of the lead guild. I am not sure that I like that."

Nina: "Me neither."

Val: "Why would they do it that way? Obviously all three of our guilds are great and worthy of recognition."

Karuna: "I don't know, but we will have to decide how we want to handle this. I am also of the opinion that there really should not be any 'lead' guild. ESP and DaRc and FK all have great reputations. There should be some way to share the recognition."

Nina: "I know . . . lets create a new guild . . . us three together will have acess to it, and make it the leader. Like a figurehead leader."

Val: "That is brilliant my love!"

Karuna: "Nice, I really like that idea as well. If we are all agreed then the only remaining question is what do we call this new figurehead guild?"

Val: "It needs to be something noble and respectable."

Nina: "And something that is fun and that everyone can relate to."

Karuna: "I suggest then that we talk to our people and gather a list of suggestions and choose a name out of those listed."

Nina: "Yes, that sounds great."

Val: "I will talk to my Knights immediately." |-as Nina departs Val pulls Karuna aside for a moment to chat in private-| "By the way Karuna, those people at the wedding, I am sorry that you had to be confronted with them. They are griefers and former Knights who left for form their own order. I would suggest that you do not associate with them, nor give them any audience. All they can cause is disruption."

Karuna: "I appreciate the heads up Val and I shall bear that in mind."

|-a few days later, within the same council chamber-|

Val: "Welcome again to our halls Karuna, and I see that you brought Sir J with you."

Karuna: "Yes, he played an integral part in helping us choose a name for our alliance and I thought that he should be here."

Sir J: "Hello Val. A pleasure as always! Congrats on your recent marriage by the way."

Val: "Thank you. So what name did you come to suggest?"

Karuna: "Sacred Consilium."

Nina: "I like sacred . . . "

Val: "But what's a 'consilium'? And isn't 'sacred' part of ESP's guild na . . ?"

Sir J: "Consilium is a latin word which translates to 'council' or 'body of advisors'. It can also stand for judgement and wisdom!"

Nina: "It sounds nice. I like it."

Val: "I suppose, but . . ."

Sir J: "I think it will make our alliance sound very classy! It is fun and yet still sophisticated."

Karuna: "We need to make a decision very soon. We don't want to delay once the new territories are opened up to us and miss out on any opportunites. What say you?'

Val: "Ok then. To the Sacred Consilium. My love, you will get to work now on creating the new guild for us?"

Nina: "Of course my dear, I am already on it."

Scene III
On a rainy night, a mysterious traveller appears at the gates of the FK Guild Hall

Riff The Almighty Knower Of All Things Worth Knowing: "Good ingredients make a good stew, but if you allow yourself to be decieved then chaos ensues. This brew bubbles and boils and blows up in the bookah's face. And you only burn yourself more by trying to dive in and pick out what caused the bad taste."

FK Guard: "State your name and business."

Ceara: "I am Ceara, of the mists, and it is urgent that I speak with your lord."

FK Guard: "Lord Val is not to be disturbed at this hour. You must come back at another time."

Ceara: |-moving in closer and taking off her hood to reveal her long, flowing locks of blonde hair-| "You look like a good and kind man. Noble as the cause that you support, and so good of you to protect your lord so. I know that you are just doing your job but trust me that I would not trouble you unless this was truly a very important matter."

FK Guard: "Well, I . . uh . . I suppose I could try . . . and see if he is awake . . I mean."

Ceara: |-smiling brightly-| "That would be so very kind of you good sir, and I will forever appreciate what you have done for me tonight."

|-the guard exits and is then seen just outside the chambers of Lord Val. There is no sign of Nina-|

FK Guard: "M'lord?"

Val: |-obviously irritated-| "Yes, what is it?"

FK Guard: "There is someone here who demands to see you."

Val: "Well send them away you simpleton. I don't have time for people's games right now."

FK Guard: "She was very insistent that . . ."

Val: "She? Well, send her up and then stand aside. I will take care of this myself."

|-the guard retreats and a few moments later Ceara appears at the guild lord's chambers-|

Ceara: |-dropping down to her knees to kneel-| "M'lord"

Val: "There now girl, no need to be so severe. Tell me, what brings you here to call upon me at this hour? I had to make a special exception for you."

Ceara: "I came because I was summoned here m'lord."

Val: "Summoned?"

Ceara: |-smiling shyly-| "Yes m'lord. Summoned by your great presence and the great nobility that encircles your house. I knew that I had to come here. I knew that this was the only place that I could truly feel at home. Please allow me to be so bold, but I feel that your noble house is the home I have always been searching for. I submit myself to you m'lord and ask only for shelter."

Val: |-reaching out to lightly touch Ceara's golden locks-|
"There now girl. How did you get such ideas in your head? Anyway, yes, you can stay here. I feel what you say and in fact, I think that maybe it is some sort of destiny that led you here. You can stay for as long as you like."

Scene IV
The private chambers of Val and Nina

Riff, Just Riff: "By now you should have figured out that I know the motives behind all that is happening. If you are too slow bookah then I guess maybe you have been napping? Not only am I a great poet but I am a scholar too. It doesn't take my kind of brains to figure out what Ceara is about to do . . . "
"Nina, we need to talk."

Nina: "Of course my love, what is it?"

Val: "Well, you see . . . I have been thinking . . . I like you and all, you know that I do! But, as a leader of Knights and all, I don't know if it is really fair to you to serve the role of 'wife'"

Nina: "What?"

Val: "Yeah. I was thinking maybe we could reorganize a bit and try out something new."

Nina: "Something new like what Val . . ?"

Val: "Well, just hear me out. Lets say that we tell the Knights that instead of my wife, that really you are my sister."

Nina: "Your . . . sister . . . ?"

Val: "Yes, exactly! And that way you would always be loved and revered among the Knights and could still hold a position of extreme importance, and then I could . . ."

Nina: "You could do what Val . . .? and how does it even make any sense that I go from being your wife to being your sister? This just seems crazy."

Val: "Look, I will be blunt. I really like you Nina, I really do, but it seems like we have grown a bit distant . . . I want you to be happy and I want the alliance to continue to flourish . . . and I also met someone else that I want to be my wife . . . The sister thing is just something that we will pass off on everyone else. It won't change the special friendship that you and I have always shared"

Nina: "So basically this means that we have been incestuous all this time before . . . "

Val: "No! It isn't like that. Look. You win by getting to do whatever you want and remain part of the royal family and I get to do whatever I want too."

Nina: "Who is the girl?'

Val: "What?"

Nina: "You heard me. Who is the girl?"

Val: "It's Ceara, we are planning on getting married in two weeks . . ."

Nina: "Val . . . you know that I very seldom talk like this, but . . what the fuck?"

Val: "I wish that you could just be happy for me."

Nina: "Whatever Val. I will be Empress of DaRc and you can do as you wish with FK."

-- to be continued

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Updated 10-01-2011 at 07:35 PM by Karuna



  1. Mortanius Black's Avatar
    This is relevant to my interests.
  2. Araiia's Avatar
    And this is why stereotypes continue to be supported by evidence.
  3. Noelle's Avatar
    Ah, the memories...
  4. Missy's Avatar
    oh snap


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